Who would have ever thought that any harm could come from a chauvinistic, cheating, alcoholic Northerner mistreating his missus? Well it did. Arthur Peasley, Middlesbrough resident, is really regretting not rubbering up after getting a vampire preggers. Tragically, his lover, Lucia, died as she gave birth to his son, the world’s first ever hybrid. Her dad ain’t happy.
Borg Hemsman, Lucia’s father, is almost ready to begin his assault on mankind itself. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans, formed to hide the existence of the undead, are almost powerless to stop him. They have one hope, not a person, but a molecule. Haemo, a drug that quells the vampire’s need to feed is about to be pumped into the atmosphere of every city in Britain. The Coalition hopes it will stop the bloodshed, because if it doesn’t, and the three-hundred-year-old Agreement between the species is shattered, life will never be the same again.
What the world really needs is Sid Tillsley. He’s the greatest vampire hunter of all time and he has the power to stop the vampire hordes with the might of his legendary right fist. However, his services cannot be rendered, and not because he’s drunk. In fact, he’s gone tee total (relatively). But that’s not all. Something incredibly strange and unheard of has happened to the drunkest, hardest and most homophobic man from Middlesbrough: He’s got himself a job, and stranger still—he’s stopped subscribing to Tits.
Acracknophobia, the final book in the saga, will be available as a paperback and ebook early 2011
