Tomorrow, I embark on a Stag Do to Riga, capital of Latvia, home to over three quarters of a million people. I decided to have a quick look on the internet to find out about the city and the nightlife, and now I think that the best thing that come from this trip is a quick murder (mine).
“That looks quite nice.” Yeah, that’s what I thought, but check out some of the stories. I’m hoping that all the stories are exaggerated as people only write about the bad things. Still, here is a variety of tales and reviews from the world wide web:
“The Prime Minister said in the National Paper The Baltic Times All English People are Pigs, Imagine if Tony Blair Or Gordon Brown said that? They are the Pigs and the lowest form of people on this earth, a bunch of Gypsy’s, They don’t have the honor of making an honest living and think Stealing, Ripping you off or how much money you have is a normal way of life…. Respect that? I don’t think so… I have now left and never will return to such a country that is a such a country of filth. Riga should be changed for the Russian name Suka or Land of whores…”
“It is very typical for the girls to try to talk you into a private room for a “special show.” Most often you will get nothing “special” but it is quite common for the girl to set an open bottle of champagne on the table as part of the “party”. Only later do you find out that you are being charged as much as 2000 Ls for the bottle!!!! This is very common scam unfortunately. If you refuse to pay the club will call the police who will force you to pay. Do not expect the police to help you in Riga! They quite often have a mutually beneficial “arrangement” with the strip clubs and they will be happy to beat you up to get you to pay the 2000 Ls bill!!!”
“There was a guy called snakemanand a tall guy with blonde hait with a smaller guy they are out to rob you”
“I was robbed at Club Essential by the club’s security. They saw me go to the ATM and when I returned, I was dragged into a closet and they took all of my money”
“Ive been to some of the biggest cities literally all over the World, Paris, Prague, Miami, london, cape town, milan just to list a few. Riga must be the worst major city ive ever been to”
And my personal favourite:
“If you are looking for a girl you will have a hard time in Riga. And beleave me, I usually get girls quite easy anywhere”
What a stud.
On Sunday, I am hoping to God that I am able to report back with another blog about the wonderful time I had (although no details will be leaked- what goes on tour stays on tour, womenfolk). If I don’t make it back, I want to say thanks to all my fans, friends and loved ones out there.
Dear Latvian police, if I am found dead in a Latvian brothel with inanimate objects fatally rammed in certain orifices of my body, please tell my girlfriend that I died peacefully in my sleep. Oh, and the prostitute was dead when I got there. Cheers guys.
Ah, well, it’s my 29th birthday on the Friday, too. At least I’ll go out drunk.
H’oway the lads!!
Dead man walking!!!!
I’m scared dude.
“Now the charges are much higher – including jail time for hooliganism. February saw the first urinary offender behind bars when the 34-year-old was handed down a five day sentence.
“I urge municipal police staff to be harsher and less tolerant within the limits of the existing legal norms,”
That’s it your buggered – probably litterally
on the plus side
“is the simple fact that for less than 100 euro per person it is possible to get a three course meal, five beers, and nine strippers. ”
yes thart’s nine strippers….
Mate – any foreign country and city is easy to handle. But then again – this is coming from a lad who’s spent most of his life living in Merthyr Tydfil. Based on those reviews you posted about Riga, sounds like a step up so might book some flights tomorrow! In all fairness though – the bit about police does sound about right.
And definitely about the strip clubs to rip you off. I had a very similar scary experience in strip club in Budapest. We tried to be careful by checking and asking about charges (e.g. cover charge for table, entry fee, price of eevrything etc) but we noticed we were being scammed and thought we try to pay up and leave asap. The fact we only ones there didnt help either. Slapped with a ridiculous bill, we negotiated our best but still came up short, they refused to take shrapnel, and to make things worse they then had two bouncers (twice the size of yourself Jacko) lock the doors in front of us, another bouncer appearing directly behind us, and I was shit scared. They wanted myself to get in a car with one of their bouncers to go back to the hotel for our credit card and then to get their money, whilst my two mates stayed there. I honestly was shitting myself – and my backup plan was to run from the car to the british embassy which luckily was opposite our hotel.
Cut an already long story short, one of the lads miraculously found some notes in his pocket and we paid and legged it. I was furious at having been conned, but after doing the conversion rates, we got conned out of 30 quid each which was 20 quid too much. Oh, and one more thing, this place was recommended to us by the taxi driver – so I reckon in places that are cheap, sort of run by russian gangsters and thrive on stupid drunken english people, dont trust anyone.
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