THE RE-RELEASE OF THE SID TILLSLEY CHRONICLES

I’ve rewritten the Sid Tillsley Chronicles and they’re being re-released Halloween 2013.

That’s right all the books have been tarted up and I’ll be starting a big promotion book after the release. They’ll be available as paperbacks and ebooks and I’ll be running some competitions for you to win some goodies.

If you want to be involved in any promotions or are interested in anything Sidney, mail me at mark.jackman@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers guys

Jacko

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Nine Out of Ten Britons At Risk of Death

“You could be at risk of death,” was the terrifying statement delivered by Penelope Posington-Smythe, today. Journalists were left in tears after details of the comprehensive afternoon’s study at Cambridge University’s open coffee morning were revealed.

Posington-Smythe said, “Most Britons don’t even know they’re at risk. Who’d have thought the American woman who got her face and hands eaten by a chimp, and survived, turned out to be one of the lucky ones?”

Cancer not as big a risk as dying.

“Fatty foods, smoking, drinking and our husbands going bareback on Zambian prostitutes whilst on conferences in filthy European cities are no longer middle-class England’s greatest threats to life. Dying is the biggest cause of death.”

“Our group was horrified by the results,” added Posington-Smythe. “It was akin to discovering a meteor on a collision course with Earth, or a black family moving in to the village. We’re still not sure which demographics are most at risk from death, but we expect DRG (death-related-gossip) in middle-aged, bored housewives to skyrocket.”

Posington-Smythe is keen to back up her group’s epoch-changing research by securing airtime on ITV’s Daybreak and Loose Women. “People could be dying today, and they could be dying tomorrow. We don’t know how many people have died because of death. If people don’t know about death’s symptoms, there’s a good chance they’ll end up dead.”

Dr. Hilary Jones is due to prepare a pamphlet, later today.

Bit of a tribute to The Daily Mash as well as the beautiful Dr. Hilary Jones.

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Geoff Nelder Reviews A Fistful Of Rubbers

Guys,

Another review of A Fistful of Rubbers for you. This one’s by Geoff Nelder, an author himself, he reviews for The Compulsive Reader and also Cafe Doom.

Hilarious vamp lit from Mark Jackman
A Fistful of Rubbers: The Sid Tilsley Chronicles – Book Two
Mark Jackman
Reviewed by Geoff Nelder

In an apparent contradiction of the title, there are surprising moments of philosophy and political intrigue here that no aficionado of vampire literature should ignore.

I have been reading vampire stories for decades but it is only in more recent years that the genre has sprung a leak in conventions. New myths were generated by Bram Stoker’s Dracula in 1897 followed meekly by many writers. For example he invented the notion that vampires have no reflections, can be killed by a crucifix, warded off by garlic, and have to sleep in soil or a coffin. Jackman’s vampires snub such stereotypes though for dramatic effect he keeps with Stoker’s concept that vampires burn in sunlight.

In Book One: The Great Right Hope, many new and invigorating ideas were introduced such as the acknowledgment of vampire existence by some ‘normal’ people in authority and a Coalition created to govern this uneasy co-existence. Of course the excitement comes when vampires and humans break with the Coalition. The politics of such a dichotomy, introduced in Book One, is explored further in Book Two, but don’t worry, there is no chance of you falling asleep. The action of Sid’s right fist, supported by his Middlesbrough pals, and fuelled by Bolton Bitter beer, drives the story on its drunken, bruising and hilarious journey.

As we come to expect from Mark Jackman, there are ingenious and disturbing vamp-lit innovations. We learnt in Book One that Sid’s fists can dispose of a vampire, while normally only decapitation can. In Book Two, one of Sid’s drinking buddies, Brian Garforth, discovers that shagging his one-night-stand vampire lover, the most beautiful female on Earth, turned her to ash, making his jizz a more hazardous substance than a wooden stake. A fact leading to the eponymous title, A Fistful of Rubbers after a scientist invented a kind of condom six-gun. Another surprise is that vampire fathers often die in childbirth. Yes, you heard me correctly, but I’ll let you read the rather touching reason when you read the book yourself. A bizarre yet intriguing novelty is when an uncontrollable beast of a vampire, Gunnar Ivansey, confesses his evil deeds to a priest. Fascinating.

In this sequel, Sid’s fist remains mighty but the man himself is troubled. The Miner’s Arms is closed (temporarily, don’t fret), forcing the lads to discover new drinking emporiums forcing them to encounter people of differing sexual preferences creating extreme discomfort and shame, Worse, the political factions impinge on Sid and his friend in ways obliging them to retaliate. There’s much more.

This sequel is more intellectual than Book One with its political and philosophical shenanigans, but fear not, Sid and his pals will always see you right.

Any fan of Sid Tillsley in The Great Right Hope will be uplifted and rightly beasted by A Fistful of Rubbers.

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So there you have it. If you haven’t read the first book, the kindle of The Great Right Hope is just 71 pence at the moment. Just click the link to the ebook in the store.

Also, make sure you ‘like’ the Sid Tillsley Chronicles Facebook page for any news and special offers!

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